{"id":1121,"date":"2014-08-18T17:21:30","date_gmt":"2014-08-18T21:21:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/?p=1121"},"modified":"2014-08-18T17:21:30","modified_gmt":"2014-08-18T21:21:30","slug":"fear-cowabunga-dude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/?p=1121","title":{"rendered":"Fear? Cowabunga Dude"},"content":{"rendered":"

IMPORTANT: WE WILL NOT OFFER YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE POLICY NEXT YEAR.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That sentence (and the letter it was attached to) has been on my list of life fears for years and years and years. \u00a0Due to a rather complicated (ok, weird) work situation over the past 12 years, I have joked (read:\u00a0definitely NOT joked) that I would marry for health insurance. \u00a0New York State (and NY City) have some health insurance laws (not to mention premiums) that seem to be “different” than many other states.<\/p>\n

This “NOT OFFER” is\u00a0not taking effect right away. \u00a0I have a few months. \u00a0I will slam my face repeatedly into a window if I have another conversation with my “advisor” at Fill-in-the-Blank Insurance because:<\/p>\n

1. He has a name that is only fitting for a child.<\/p>\n

2. \u00a0He sounds like he just hopped off his skateboard to take my call.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0When he told me about the other plan available to me, he explained that\u00a0other people with my “old timer” plan switched last time they had open enrollment and they all, “REALLY LIKE THEIR NEW PLAN”. \u00a0(God I wish I could say his name but I’m afraid someone who reads this has a kid with a cute bowl cut named —- and will be eternally offended). \u00a0Really —-? \u00a0EveryONE who switched plans likes their new plan? \u00a0That’s amazing! \u00a0So, how exactly does this “everyone” measurement work?<\/p>\n

“Well, no one in my territories has called to complain.”<\/p>\n

Seriously, no one has called you, —-, to complain so therefore EVERYONE likes their new plan? \u00a0Holy shit, this is my advisor? \u00a0(Note: I took Logic in college to fill a core requirement. \u00a0I did not do well. \u00a0I am sure I beat —- in that class).<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0When I\u00a0ask about durable medical equipment\u00a0coverage, I actually want an answer about durable medical equipment. \u00a0Crazy, I know.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0When I’m finally told (by someone else) that the plans we are talking about are subject to change in October, before the enrollment period, and I ask —- about this, here’s what I don’t want to hear, “I think you’ll really like the plan everyone else switched to and there will probably be a plan like-that in October”.<\/p>\n

6. That phone call required many quarters. \u00a0Many. \u00a0I would smack —- across the face with his skateboard if I could.<\/p>\n

7. \u00a0My favorite part was when I said, “So\u00a0you’re basically telling me I have options that sound like cheaper premiums but less coverage and more expensive costs in almost every other area, but you can’t confirm any of this because the official insurance plans don’t come out until October? \u00a0And now I can feel like I’m going to throw-up every day worrying about this for 2 months? \u00a0Well at least I’ll be really skinny and sleep is over-rated anyway right?.” \u00a0The response, “You really are funny.” \u00a0Ugh<\/p>\n

Here’s the thing and hey maybe it’s because I’m just a laugh-a-minute, or because it was a day where other huge fears (job related) also happened to come true (oh the timing!), but I’m just not freaking out. \u00a0I am so oddly calm, I’m wondering if someone is drugging my coffee. \u00a0HUGE fear….happening… not freaking out. \u00a0Who am I??? \u00a0I almost feel guilty that I’m not freaking out, but when you are juggling, more than you ever thought you could realistically juggle, does one more ball in the air change everything? \u00a0I dunno, I don’t actually know how to juggle, I find most clowns annoying (unless they make balloon sculptures… balloons change it up completely), and my athleticism doesn’t always lend itself to eye-hand coordination, so I have no one to ask about my juggling theory.<\/p>\n

I’ll deal with it (while I attempt to stockpile the eff out of every supply I can get my hands on).*<\/p>\n

*I’ve decided “eff” doesn’t count as cursing.<\/p>\n

\"tmnt\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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IMPORTANT: WE WILL NOT OFFER YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE POLICY NEXT YEAR. That sentence (and the letter it was attached to) has been on my list of life fears for years and years and years. \u00a0Due to a rather complicated (ok, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[48,402,311],"tags":[222,464,26,203,463],"class_list":["post-1121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diabetes-notes","category-motivation","category-non-d","tag-calm","tag-diabetes-costs","tag-fear","tag-health-insurance","tag-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2tD0n-i5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1121"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1124,"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121\/revisions\/1124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.surfacefine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}