Gift Giving

There was a real plan for today’s post but the timing isn’t happening, so I offer you the following (I’ve been thinking about this a whole heck of a lot):

The greatest gift you can give someone is your


Because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back.

The older I get, the more important this seems.

Now back to NOT over-treating this low BG, trying to get my dog to eat, and debating if the Dexcom I just put in today will ever stop feeling so stabby.  Why so angry Dex?

New Rates And Some Other Stuff

Endo appointment yesterday.  Didn’t have high hopes (high, ha) as I have been running way TOO high lately, especially overnight.  A1c is a higher than it has been in 3 years.  Disappointing but not surprising (up .3 BUT that takes me to the next whole number and that I seriously dislike).  Also gained a chunk of weight.  More than I thought, but not upsetting as I missed having a butt.  Baby Got Back can’t be my favorite song without some junk in the trunk right?

Adjusted some basal rates with my doctor as the last adjustments did zilch.

New basals worked way TOO well overnight. Ooof.  This morning’s headache plus allergies was like being b*tched slapped by my pump and then a bag of freshly cut grass… over and over again.


Also, I found a whole bunch of hearts this morning. And TONS the last few days.  Timing. Found: hearts . I still have a lot to add.  I find myself walking routes where I know I will see hearts that I’ve already met.  If nothing else, it’s a good breathing exercise.  See a heart, take a HUGE deep breath.

According to FitBit, I’m averaging just shy of 40 miles a week.  How the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is that possible?!?  Amazing.  That’s all walking!  Cray.

There appears to be another shot (shots, ha) at my getting into an artificial pancreas trial.  I don’t want to think too much about it and set myself up for disappointment but the idea of this old body being used for diabetes progress is deliriously exciting.  Stop thinking about it.  Easier to say than do.

My 35th diaversary is approaching next month.  My feelings on this are a tangled web.  I should write about that, as maybe I’m not the only one?  35 years of this fear and giving myself incessant mental pep talks is a really long time.

In other news, my eye is FINALLY healing (and an allergy puff ball).


This past Saturday, I said goodbye to two of the very biggest Alecia’s Stem Cells supporters.  They were with me from the very beginning of founding ASC.  Saturday would have been their 60th wedding anniversary.  Now they are back together.  Also, being on a moving dock with ashes is a possible recipe for disaster.  Life is short.  Never lose sight of the wonderful experiences you’ve had along the way.  The people who believe in you… hug them, love them, appreciate them.  Sappy-McSappster moment.


A few other random thoughts and observations:  50 Cent should stick to rap, I need to try pump sites in my lower back, Maya Angelou was one hell of a woman, and I may have seen Apollo Creed at a train station in Jersey on memorial day.









Missed It, But Thanks Diabetes

It’s a little weird for me to NOT have participated in Diabetes Blog Week this past week.  I started Surfacefine 2 years ago to participate in what I think remains a TREMENDOUS idea by Karen over at Bittersweet Diabetes  …… And this year, I’ve completely missed it.

At some point I hope to catch-up on all the amazing blogs and posts.  I only read one post the entire week.  Yep, just one.  The one I read was from Kim over at Texting My Pancreas.  First let me explain, I don’t have any clue how things work in life.  Fate?  I question it.  Luck?  Perhaps.  Karma?  Don’t even get me started.  So I happened to see Kim’s post on my phone and actually had a few minutes to read it.  She nails it.  Although this was so very true for me as a diabetic it applies to so many other things, many other struggles.  Here you go kiddos: What Brings Me Down I was meant to read that… I’m sure of it.

I attended JDRF NYC Chapter’s Annual Research Update last night.  I’m not gonna lie, a lot of it was over my head but it was encouraging to see so many people in attendance.  I arrived late for the reception but was thrilled to have maybe 5 minutes of rushed conversation with some DOC friends I haven’t seen for awhile.  The nicest part though was when, after the 2nd presentation, my brother took a seat next to me.  I’m fairly certain he was lost during the presentation too but he was there and that’s what mattered.  My brother and I managed to squeeze in dinner afterward.  I can’t remember the last time we had one-on-one time but it was good to reconnect.  Although we were rushing a bit through our meal, my brother still missed his train.  Getting to the train was a hike from where we were.  His train ride is far from short, but we had some together time and it was nice to feel like I had some support.  We were together because of diabetes.  As much as I hate to admit it (and my teeth are gritted as I type this), I have to thank diabetes for giving me some time to see DOC friends and to have a dinner date with my Bro.  I guess I will have to hold back my Duck Fiabetes for the day.

On Wednesday I met up with a friend for lunch and she suddenly exclaimed, “Your eye is BLEEDING!!!!”.  Of course I thought blood was coming out of my eye but nope.  It looked like this:



Great.  Probably a broken blood vessel but that inner voice that says, “Hey you… you’ve had a slew of pump site problems and some overnight WAY highs that you’ve been sleeping through… A LOT…. now look what happened” was whispering in my ear.  I called and got myself squeezed into an early morning appointment the next day with my retina specialist (he may actually be God).  The next morning (yesterday) it looked even sexier:


So I saw one of my very favorite doctors, joked about wearing bright red lipstick and a red dress to play up my eye as an “accessory” and WHEW-OH-WHEW got the diabetes all-clear.  WHEW again! I also got the this-will-take-two-weeks-to-heal-news.  Ugh.

As I left the doctor’s office I noticed something a bit clearer than when I’d entered.  Sculptures on Park Avenue.  Alice Aycock’s Park Avenue Paper Chase.  Oh how astonishingly lovely and inspirational.  So there you have it.  The reason I have a retina specialist is because of diabetes.  If my eye didn’t look like a Halloween horror show, I wouldn’t have been at the doctor’s office until August.  Now, I probably would have seen some of these sculptures on other parts of Park Avenue, but definitely not right out of the entryway of my fantastic doctor.  Dammit.  Thanks Diabetes.  grrrrrr.

And finally, an update on how eliminating curse words from my vocabulary ($.25 a F-Bomb adds up) is progressing.  Yesterday and today did no favors to my savings, but at least it benefits JDRF.  I would also like to point out something to the right of the jar.  I didn’t notice it until i uploaded the pic.  Know what that is?  Ah serenity now!










Punching Vampires?

I am distracted at work today.  I’ve had yucky, sticky blood sugars for almost 3 days now.  Mostly 200s that won’t budge (well there was a brief break on Saturday afternoon) unless they go up to the 300s and at one LONG point on the commute yesterday, a lovely HIGH reading.  UGH.  I have temporary basaled like crazy, way over-bolused out of frustration without any success, and attempted to flood myself with liquids.  2 insulin vial changes and 5 (yeah that’s right 5) site changes. 1 site hurt, 1 was so much worse than hurting… more like stabbing, but ALL 5 bled when I pulled them.  I did a site change at the office this morning only to realize I had used up my desk stash of reservoirs.  I couldn’t run home at the time, so I gave myself an injection.  When was the last time I used a syringe?  No clue, but it looked surprisingly tiny to me.  As I went to inject myself, my hand started to shake as I got the needle just shy of my skin.  My first thought, we’re having an earthquake.  Nope.  Tried again.  Same thing.  Still not an earthquake.  3rd try, I got it.  30 minutes later, I left for more pump supplies and to finish the site change.  I’ve been using the 6 mm Insets for the past few months and switched to one 9mm once today to no avail.  I have (temporarily) fixed quite a few electronics by hitting them against a table when nothing else seemed to work (have you met my TV remote control?).  So here’s my thinking…I would like to punch myself in the pancreas and see if that helps… you know, like a jump start.  Even if it were just temporary, I could use a break from this today.  It’s upsetting and scary.  This current pump site doesn’t hurt.  I don’t want to get too relieved just yet as It’s too early to tell if it’s working (fingers crossed)  Seriously though?  5 vampire cannulas?  5 in a row?  REALLY?

DEX high

So what’s the positive spin?  I certainly appreciate ALL the times that things like this DO NOT happen.  I appreciate all the times I forget I’m on a pump because it isn’t vampire bloody hell hurting me.  I appreciate that my mouth doesn’t normally taste like I’m sucking on pennies (gag).  I appreciate that people donate their time and money to diabetes research.  I appreciate that diet ginger ale is sold within my office building.  I appreciate that aside from all this diabetes madness I did have a nice weekend.  I also appreciate that I discovered Jumping Beans are a really thing (I had no idea).

If anyone wants to help me with this punch-my-pancreas-reset-experiment, just let me know.  I may however be busy be doing another site change.  Grrrrr.


Lordy Lordy…

Look who’s 40!?!

Today is my dear friend Sara’s 40th Diaversary!

Sara is an incredible woman, an amazing friend, a true advocate, and has spread a wealth of Diabetes information to so many.  She has also been a guest blogger here, at Surfacefine sharing her experience with The JDRF Voices Council AND her Research Retreat.

Cheering you on Sara!  xoxoxo