New Rates And Some Other Stuff

Endo appointment yesterday.  Didn’t have high hopes (high, ha) as I have been running way TOO high lately, especially overnight.  A1c is a higher than it has been in 3 years.  Disappointing but not surprising (up .3 BUT that takes me to the next whole number and that I seriously dislike).  Also gained a chunk of weight.  More than I thought, but not upsetting as I missed having a butt.  Baby Got Back can’t be my favorite song without some junk in the trunk right?

Adjusted some basal rates with my doctor as the last adjustments did zilch.

New basals worked way TOO well overnight. Ooof.  This morning’s headache plus allergies was like being b*tched slapped by my pump and then a bag of freshly cut grass… over and over again.

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Also, I found a whole bunch of hearts this morning. And TONS the last few days.  Timing. Found: hearts . I still have a lot to add.  I find myself walking routes where I know I will see hearts that I’ve already met.  If nothing else, it’s a good breathing exercise.  See a heart, take a HUGE deep breath.

According to FitBit, I’m averaging just shy of 40 miles a week.  How the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is that possible?!?  Amazing.  That’s all walking!  Cray.

There appears to be another shot (shots, ha) at my getting into an artificial pancreas trial.  I don’t want to think too much about it and set myself up for disappointment but the idea of this old body being used for diabetes progress is deliriously exciting.  Stop thinking about it.  Easier to say than do.

My 35th diaversary is approaching next month.  My feelings on this are a tangled web.  I should write about that, as maybe I’m not the only one?  35 years of this fear and giving myself incessant mental pep talks is a really long time.

In other news, my eye is FINALLY healing (and an allergy puff ball).

eyeheal

This past Saturday, I said goodbye to two of the very biggest Alecia’s Stem Cells supporters.  They were with me from the very beginning of founding ASC.  Saturday would have been their 60th wedding anniversary.  Now they are back together.  Also, being on a moving dock with ashes is a possible recipe for disaster.  Life is short.  Never lose sight of the wonderful experiences you’ve had along the way.  The people who believe in you… hug them, love them, appreciate them.  Sappy-McSappster moment.

GBK

A few other random thoughts and observations:  50 Cent should stick to rap, I need to try pump sites in my lower back, Maya Angelou was one hell of a woman, and I may have seen Apollo Creed at a train station in Jersey on memorial day.

apollo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Love Train, Passion & Charo

Real quick…. Don’t have much time for blogging these days so here are a few food-for-thought-esque items:

1. I “followed” a woman around CVS to get a photo of her dog.  I thought the dog looked like Charo when I saw it on the street.  Yes, I then turned around and chased them through a store.  Cuchi, cuchi. I love this dog (the dog’s real name is Blanche).

charoJPG

 

2.  Someone once gave me the advice of taking a photo of your pump’s basal settings.  This is REALLY good advice.  When things go wrong, this is REALLY important stuff.  Do it.  Now.  I will wait.  Go.  Trust me.

basals

 

3.  I saw this sign last night on the subway.

diabetes subway

When the gal sitting in front of the sign got out at Grand Central Station, I took the fastest photo ever (everyone was walking into me at the same time… human bumper cars).  I have issues with this sign.  I DO want a healthier NYC.  I also have a huge desire to eradicate the belief that I had too much sugar as a kid and developed T1D.  I also would like it noted I never had orange soda. This will be it’s own blog post someday (the sign, not some lack of orange soda).  Which leads me to a post I think is effing brilliant (and if you missed this, do yourself a favor & absorb this one) from over at Sweetly Voiced.  If you are still reading my gibberish and skipped over the link in the last sentence, go back and click on it.  Worth it.

4.  This is what my Dexcom looked like this morning.

90

Pretty sweet.  My Low alarm is set at 90.  90 and steady is awesome.  You know what’s not so awesome? The alarm going off over and over at a 90 bg when you just want a few more minutes of sleep.  The alternative is to be 90 and dropping and not feeling it and never waking up again, so I guess that pesky alarm will just have to remain. Ahhh 90… you torture me with your goodness.

5.  This morning I saw this on a subway sign:

l train

 

Look closely at the “L”.  there’s a heart!  The L train is the LOVE train?  Say what?  Good stuff people.

6.  I read this earlier today after all the 90 bg alarming business.   I’m sure there’s a way to tie this into diabetes stuff but I’ll leave that one up to you (I gotta go).  I think it’s terrific.  Happy Wednesday.

“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it at full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be.”

Roald Dahl (1916-1990); British novelist

I’m On a Break

November came and went.  Diabetes Awareness Month and I never wrote one post (although I did check out other people’s awesome posts) and I managed to get my postcards for DAM sent.  I’ve kept up on Twitter, sort of…. well at least better than here.

It wasn’t planned, but it certainly happened… I’m taking a break, and I’m finally admitting it to myself.

I think a lot of people have seen this already, but in case you haven’t, Chris at A Consequence of Hypoglycemia started My Diabetes Secret.  I won’t attempt to rush through an explanation of why I think this is important, how I sometimes find myself reading the posts with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes at unGodly hours when I can’t sleep, or how much I have thought about some of those posts over and over and over again.  Chris explains it far better in this post, than I could.

Like I said, I recommend checking out My Diabetes Secret.  Food for thought.

And in my blogging break:

1.  I hope to keep finding hearts when I need them.

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2.  I will try my best to wear blue on Fridays (I can’t say the same for my dog).

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3. I will be very careful if I ever get to play hockey with Big Bird.

photo-17

 

xo.

Love Spies

As a New Yorker, as an American and simply just as a human being, 9/11 is wrought with emotion, deep sadness and many memories.  I have stories I could tell, my fellow Alecia’s Stem Cells teammates have many, many stories too, some of survival, some of hope and kindness, but quite a few of unbelievable horror and grief.

I can’t possibly do justice to any of these stories today and planned to post some Wordless Wednesday photos I’ve taken over the years of the Twin Towers, the blue lights that symbolized the towers from past 9/11 memorials, construction photos of One World Trade Center, and the 9/11 memorial pools.

911 pools

 

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (especially Instagram), you know over the course of the summer, I became keenly aware of “hearts” in my world.  On the sidewalk, in graffiti, a crumpled piece of paper in the street, gum on the curb.  Frequently, I see a “heart” somewhere.  Depending on what’s going on in my world, they symbolize different things to me.  I usually see them when I’m alone and they always make me think (or change my thinking), and usually stop me in my tracks (well I’m not taking action photos, so I do actually need to stop).  I try to change my walk routes now, in the hopes of finding an undiscovered heart.  Often these hearts give me hope.

love 3

This morning I passed 2 familiar hearts on my way to work.  Hearts I now see all the time.  I was secretly hoping I would see a NEW heart today but it didn’t happen.  The 9/11 TV coverage I’d watched as I walked out the door weighed heavy on my heart.  I thought of the friend I was with on 9/11, who has since passed away, and how very much I miss him.

At the office, my BG skyrocketed, work stress elevated (like crazy yo), I very politely but firmly argued with a medical supplier and I glanced out my window.  I have pigeons that land on my windowsill often.  I call them Pigeon Spies.  I claim they are stealing my designs and that they are annoying, but secretly, I love them (even though they occasionally give me a heart attack when they tap the window as they land).  They taunt my dog and fall asleep inches from him.  They are bold, brave and curious.  Those pigeons are New Yorkers.

Every once in awhile, two pigeons will be on the sill at the same time.  One is always going after the other and there are never two on the sill for more than a few seconds.  Today, I watched something new.  Two pigeons.  One much bigger than the other one.  They stood together, side by side.  They watched me for awhile and mirrored my movements (yep, spies) and then they turned and sat down, touching, looking out on a corner of New York City.  The smaller one leaned over and the big one got down a little lower.  There’s a term for this, allogrooming, meaning grooming performed by one animal upon another animal of the same species.  Perhaps we all see what we want to see, but the smaller pigeon spent so much time fixing the other pigeon’s head feathers, it was remarkable.  I was less than 6 inches away, they would look at me, but they didn’t leave.  There was something tender about it.  I felt exactly like when I see hearts.  It felt like love.

pigeon love

So today, just remember to love.  On some level, we are all in this together.  Whether it’s helping someone in the DOC, or reaching out to a friend or a family member.  Just remember to love.

Thanks for bringing me some magic today, Pigeon Spies.  Tomorrow you can go back to taunting and stealing.

 

Updates, Cussing and Such

Busy, busy, busy so a quick update (also I have another post after this one):

  • I never finished the post about my eye doctor appointment.  So here’s the short summary.  I am fine.  I took lots of pics at the office.  I was there for HOURS.  Is anyone losing sleep at night because I never wrote the down and deep about my eye doctor appoint?  No?  Okay, let’s move on and I’ll get info together for another time.
  • I read this earlier today:  “To strengthen the muscles of your heart, the best exercise is lifting someone else’s spirit whenever you can.” – Dodinsky.  Do Good, Feel Good.

    Brooklyn heart

    Found on Sunday in Brooklyn Heights

  • My ongoing issues with my pump sites going bad immediately after inserting and blood bath moments in my bathroom have remained but I have had 2 good sites in a row so that’s encouraging.  The discouraging part is my insurance won’t budge on my allotment of sites.  I went through 6 in a weekend.  I will be completely screwed towards the end of this 3 month prescription and forced to either leave in sites too long or switch back to shots.  No way Jose.  I’m an Inset kinda girl.  I like awesome packaging the doubles as the inserter.  I like pink and blue sites (I’m totally anti green though.  TOTALLY).  Today I was able to try out the Inset 30.  Things have changed since I used the equivalent version (Silhouettes) back in my MiniMed pumping days.  Although the needle still looks obnoxiously rude (like it’s going to spew curse words I’ve never even heard at me), there is now an inserter.  Yeah, I was nervous putting it in but not that pale, sweaty way that used to happen as my hands shook back in my manual insertion days.  It’s funny though that just looking at this new (well new to me) site took me right back to my first NYC apartment and pep talking myself as my hands shook trying to get those damn sites in.  So, I am currently wearing my old blue Inset (I can’t risk another blood bath at work.  Mint green pants and a white lace shirt SO does NOT go with my ruby red blood).  I also have my Dexcom on my tummy.  I am one hot stuff robot lady today.  Woo Wee. (I can’t show the Dexcom because  I’m keeping SurfaceFine PG… well for today). 

    2 sites.  1 tummy.

    2 sites. 1 tummy.

  • I have finally finished my JDRF Walk letter.  I wrote an earlier version that I tried out on a few people last week.  It had one of 2 reactions.  It either made people cry, like really cry and hug me or TOTAL radio silence.  Like no email, text, IM silence.  Oh well.  My new letter is a bit long but it touches on what I think is important.  Once I clean it up a bit, I’ll post it here. 
  • I need to stop cussing so much.  I’m not sure if this is diabetes related or not.  F*ck Diabetes?  Yeah, totally diabetes related.  Oh and PG is over now.