My Love Affair

I’m having a love affair. I can’t deny it, it’s true. It started in November. I’d seen him before. I did what we all do, I Googled him but quickly decided he wasn’t my type. I’m a rather independent woman. From what I learned, he wanted someone who was a bit needy. He seemed like a bit of a know-it-all too. I had enough going on in my life but I kept looking at him. I asked around. Others knew him but there were mixed feelings. Some people thought he was absolutely wonderful, they praised him but still others said he was unreliable, inconsistent, not worth the effort and that I should just get a dog.

I’d briefly gotten attached to his “type” a few years ago. That one scared me a bit, but we were inseparable for 3 days. Something was missing and I knew it. I never truly felt comfortable. Perhaps we just didn’t click and in the end I was disappointed and frankly, I felt let-down. I guess I was a bit oversold.

Years had gone by and I tried to keep an open-mind, I kept looking at him online. Oh let’s face it, I stared at him online. I just needed to be brave (or so I kept telling myself). Put myself out there. It started with an email. I was testing the waters. It led to more emails. I kept Googling and staring. A date was set, right before Christmas. I was nervous, but excited. He arrived at my home. It was awkward at best. I’m fairly certain he found me cold and perhaps distracted. Our get together ended rather abruptly. I was too nervous and uncomfortable. Later I checked him out online again. I downloaded an app on my phone so I could check him out from there too. I wasn’t giving up hope but it was easier to drag my feet since the holidays were right around the corner. It was a good excuse. I decided I’d try to hook-up with him after the New Year.

After New Year’s, I decided my initial discomfort was with the one-on-one aspect of our initial meeting. I made a decision, made a couple calls, and within 24 hours, we had plans for a group lunch date. I was nervous but we were surrounded by other group dates and suddenly this seemed doable.

Now, over 9 months later, if we go on a date, he never pays. He can be downright irritating, almost preachy, if I’ve under-bolused or have indulged a bit too much. Once, I took Sudafed when I wasn’t feeling well and he went absolutely nuts. We don’t fight often, maybe, but when we do, we’ve learned to start over. A fresh start seems to be best for both of us.

Now I see there were plenty of times I didn’t feel safe on my own. That’s all changed since he came into my life. I’ll admit it, it may not be perfect but we sleep together every night. He wakes me up more than I’d like but I’m glad he’s there.

Thanks for keeping me safe Dex.