What’s coming?

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A week from tomorrow is my 34th Diaversary.  I need to organize my thoughts for my diaversary post as I really liked the one I wrote last year.  I’ve been through a lot in the past few months (well especially last few weeks) and I’m a little concerned what the tone of diaversary post may be.  I’m incredibly bummed that I will be away on a business trip on my diaversary and so doing something nice for myself (i.e. dinner with family or friends) is not going to happen.  Maybe I can postpone celebrating 6/19?  No, I’m alive.  That’s worth celebrating even if it’s running on a hotel treadmill.

As you may know, I’ve written 2 posts recently involving my rain boots.  Last night, I got caught in a down pour and decided to jump in every puddle I saw along the way.  Boots, a dress, a raincoat and a horrible dome shaped umbrella.  I toned the jumping down in the really dirty puddles, and around people who would get splashed but at one point I gave up on the umbrella, closed it up and just kept going.  It felt good.  I was soaked.

Early this morning, I saw this quote:

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.  Its about learning to dance in the rain.

Right after that, my Dexcom was beeping that I was over 180.  I’ve been running too high a lot recently. A few basal tweaks, a ton of exercise and nothing seems to be budging much.  I looked at Dex, but I couldn’t get the screen to change.  It was frozen on HIGH over 180.  I got a little worried, figured how to shut it down but then I couldn’t get it back on!  Trying and waiting, waiting and trying.

Then this:

photo (53)

 

Dexcom- you may have been talking about yourself and that you’re back in action but I’m choosing to believe you were talking about me.  System Check.  Passed.  Next time, I hope to see: System Check.  Awesome.

I have a lot to do before then.  And with that, I’m off to the doctor.

XO

Feeling Blue?

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I really love a rainy Friday.  No joke.  When I first learned of the Blue Fridays Initiative through Cherise Shockley’s tweets, I believe my first thoughts were along the lines of, “That’s cool.  Oh wait, I don’t own blue clothing.”  Blue jeans?  Yep, but that’s about it.  When I decided this winter, after years of soaking we feet, that I should indeed buy myself a pair of boots, the blue ones happened to be on sale and hey, they’re perfect for #bluefridays (follow it on Twitter).  Now, less than a year later, I carry a ridiculously bright blue purse and my Dexcom G4 is blue too.  Sometimes feeling blue is actually a good thing.  I will admit, there was a Blue Friday a few weeks ago that turned out to be a Blue Thursday.  I swear it felt like a Friday!

blu

Blue Fridays can also be found on Facebook.

Happy Friday!

Wordless Wednesday Dress-ups

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Dazzled insulin

Let’s face it shall we?  My purse is an incredible place.  A lost & found, a glucose tablet cave, a world of gum wrappers, or just the Land Of The Lost?  Yesterday I pulled out a bottle of insulin to do a site change.  It felt odd.  That’s because it felt bumpy.  I don’t know what’s going on in that purse but things are getting freaky or maybe just fancy?

Hey Insulin, if you’re having a party in there, rock out with your bad self and thanks for keeping me alive, you sexy Diva, you.  xo

Dexcom in the Elevator

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What a morning.

Early Gym intensive? Check.

Dog leaving me 3 “traps” and my stepping in 1 as i stepped out of the shower?  Check.

A LOT of cursing at said dog? Check.

By the time I got into the elevator to go to work, I was saying, “Good Morning” through gritted teeth.  A full elevator.  I was frantically trying to pull down my dress which was caught on my overflowing laundry bag while still telling my dog he was in BIG trouble.  I was completely unaware that the older gentleman to my side was addressing me. I was more concerned with getting Bad Dog on his leash and my dirty laundry not falling around my feet.

The gentleman asked again, “Does that work with your cellphone?”.

Hmmmm?

My Dexcom sensor was right in his line of vision.  It’s at the beginning of week 2 and kind of a bedazzled mess (hey I take pride in my bedazzled Dexcom designs and this sensor has lost a few rhinestones along the way.  I know this because 2 came off in my second shower this morning… you know, the one AFTER I stepped in the dog trap).

dEXCOM ELEVATOR

I now had the attention of the other 2 people in the elevator as well.  I explained to the man that it’s a Continuous Glucose Monitor. Seeing the blank look on his face, I quickly added, it tells me my “blood sugar”.  Still blank.

“I’m diabetic”.

He quickly said he was sorry.  And that he didn’t mean to offend me.

We were out the door by this point and I was attempting to explain to him not to be sorry, but I was already losing the laundry bag, Bad Dog was attempting to pee on the front step (!!) and I was fairly certain my favorite, cozy summer dress was pulled-up and flashing my knickers to most of my street.

I kept thinking about it.  Was he sorry that I’m diabetic?  Dude, me too!  Well most of the time, me too.  No, he was sorry he asked about my cellphone that is inserted into my arm. Like he displayed bad manners or something.  I’m in a sleeveless dress.  I’ve got a weird looking sensor in my arm.  It’s decorated with multi-colored, multi-sized rhinestones.  I’m fairly certain this screams, “Ask me what’s on my arm”.  Or it screams, “I’m a girl who likes pink and bling and making stuff”.

I look forward to seeing my neighbor again.  I look forward to explaining to him a wee bit more about my Dexcom and how it’s a great way for me to talk about diabetes technology and why that’s important.  I then plan to speak into my arm and pretend I’m taking a call to my Mom.

Wordless Wednesday The Back Story

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It’s been a challenging couple of weeks. My steady stream of shirty BGs have proven that bronchitis and diabetes are a horrendous combination. My health has started to improve in the last 3 days. These pics are from yesterday. That 125 made me want to cry with joy. That line looks divine. Scrolling back, you see the real story. It isn’t pretty, it certainly didn’t feel good, but it’s part of my diabetes story. Keep trying, keep trying.

20130529-102645.jpg

In 20 Years

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I recently read that the quote below can NOT be verified as a quote from Mark Twain.  I don’t much care who said it, I just like it.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain (1835-1910);


Freaky Friday- Give Me A Break

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8702009713_cd5e5f714b_o (1)

Just like in the movie, today we’re doing a swap. If you could switch chronic diseases, which one would you choose to deal with instead of diabetes? And while we’re considering other chronic conditions, do you think your participation in the DOC has affected how you treat friends and acquaintances with other medical conditions? (Thanks to Jane of Jane K. Dickinson, RN, PhD, CDE and Bob of T Minus Two for this topic suggestion.)

I’m Feisty and it’s Friday.  I have thought quite a bit this question throughout the week.  In my mind, I have answered this many different ways but always come to the same conclusion, no, I would not switch T1D with another chronic disease and I’m annoyed with myself for thinking about this as much as I have.

In the past 5 years of my life, among my close friends, I have witnessed the following: a friend diagnosed, fight and BEAT the shirt out of breast cancer; a beloved friend diagnosed with cancer and three weeks later watching him take his last breath on this earth; a friend diagnosed with MS; a friend’s constant battle with debilitating depression; a friend responding VERY favorably to a Lupus treatment.  In a phrase that was often part of my Catholic upbringing, “We all have our own cross to bear”.  I believe this is true, so no, I’m not entertaining the idea of switching.

The EXACT spot I thought of SurfaceFine is across the street past the double parked van. Please notice my favorite building in the top left corner.

The EXACT spot I thought of SurfaceFine is across the street past the double parked van. Please notice my favorite building in the top left corner.

It’s been a year since I started Surfacefine.  Rarely does anyone question the name (you know, the 6 people who read it).  The name came from a moment when I was considering participating in Diabetes Blog Week (again, way to go Karen).  I woke up early to go to the gym.  I had an appointment to workout with a trainer so there was not an option to cancel.  My bg was in the high 200’s when I woke up.  For all intensive purposes we’ll just say it was 300.  I had an hour before I had to leave for my appointment.  Correction bolus taken plus a little additional rage bolus for good measure.  No ketones.  I practically drowned in my attempts to hydrate and flush my system.  As I walked to the gym, I checked my Dexcom at every intersection.  The arrow continued to angle downward.  I know it’s counteractive to workout that far out of range.  I also know I had to pay that trainer if I canceled.  I saw my neighbor on a street corner.  She  made a comment about my going to the gym and “good for you”.  As I race walked my way along, I couldn’t help but think of my attire.  There I was in my new sneakers, dressed in spandex, moisture-wicking gym clothes, hair in a messy ponytail looking the part of the committed health nut.  No one who saw me knew there was a bedazzled Dexcom sensor in my arm under my jacket, a Dexcom receiver vibrating that my blood glucose level was too high in my pocket, an insulin pump connected to my abdomen with it’s clip pulling down my pants, that I was thinking how I had put a temporary basal rate reduction into my pump soon because the exercise would drop me too much.  If I canceled, the outside world would never know it wasn’t because I was a lazy bum who over slept, the world would never “see” that my bg was too high that morning.  A morning smile to people I met or recognized on the street.  Rosy cheeks from the uphill hike through my neighborhood.  A heart pumping sugary blood through my veins while my organs worked double duty trying to flush it out my system while my body absorbed the extra jolt of insulin pouring through me.

Yes, on the surface, I’m fine.

 

 

Memories AKA My BIG Announcement – Wednesday 5/15

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I am writing these #DBlogWeek entries out of order (shocking, I know) and managed to completely miss yesterday (Tuesday’s) post.  I’ll get to it.

If you’re interested in learning more about Diabetes Blog Week, go here.  If you are interested on reading other diabetes blogger’s entries on the topic below, check THIS OUT (believe me, this will introduce you to some really great people in the #DOC and keep you very busy).

Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere…. you or your loved one’s diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share. (Thanks to Jasmine of Silver-Lined for this topic suggestion.)

I’ve been mulling this question over for days.  I tend to be a look-at-the-bright-side-of-life thinker.  I thought about some of my BIG diabetes moments and how I simply don’t remember them and what a good thing THAT is.  Like when I was a little girl and had a severe hypo (unconscious and seizing) in my parent’s bathroom.  Glucagon given, the ambulance didn’t show up in time, a local police lieutenant friend of my Dad’s arrived and transported me to the hospital, sirens blazing, while I practically cut my Dad’s index finger to the bone.  My jaw had locked on my Dad’s finger as he was trying to keep me from choking to death.  Nah, that’s not the kind of stuff that defines my life.  That’s not my memory anyway.  It is a horrific memory for my parents.

The guy who almost lost a finger:

Reading is fun

What about the time in 5th grade when a school assembly was changed?  Being on Regular insulin as short acting insulin didn’t encourage schedule flexibility (but at the time, that’s as far as technology had gone).  I played the violin (terribly I might add) and orchestra practice was also changed because of the assembly change and well, you can see where this is going.  My morning snack was thrown off, I don’t recall lunch, and apparently in one of my classes, I stood up, declared I loved one of my classmates, and dropped to the floor.  My teacher tried shoving juice and food down my throat, although I was unconscious.  THAT was a bad idea.  I don’t remember any of this.  I remember the assembly and waking up the next day in the hospital and puking like crazy.  To this day, I have no idea who I declared I loved in my 5th grade class.  My Dad must have scared the sh-t out of my classmates too because no one ever told me, they never brought up what had happened, and they sent me cards.  Nope, this is not my diabetes memory, this is just a sad and scary blur.

I want this to be a good memory blog post.  A REALLY good memory.  My memory is from YESTERDAY.  Yep, less than 24 hours ago.  I hadn’t planned to mention this until everything was finalized but let’s face it, THIS keeps drowning out all my other diabetes success and failure stories in my own mind.  If you know me or have ever read my blog or seen my tweets, you know how diligently I have worked over the years with JDRF.  I am incredibly proud of my JDRF Friends and Family Team, Alecia’s Stem Cells.  I am amazed by all the places we’ve walked (NYC, Boston, LA).  I am in awe of all the people who tirelessly support our team and me.  I am grateful to my parent’s for getting involved in JDRF when I was diagnosed in 1979.

I was fortunate to attend a JDRF Research Update last month presented by the president of JDRF, Jeffrey Brewer.  I loved hearing about where the money is going, the technologies and research.  I found it energizing.  The timing couldn’t have been better as a month prior, it had been mentioned to me that I was a possible candidate for my local JDRF branch’s BOARD.  Say what?!

Jeffrey said something that has been swirling around in my head for weeks (well actually he said a lot of somethings like when he spoke about micro occlusions in pump sites that go undetected by the pump which makes PERFECT sense to me).  He talked about how the next generation of insulin pumps combined with CGM technologies are available in EVERY OTHER FIRST WORLD COUNTRY BUT OURS (oh yeah, I live in the US).  He also spoke a bit about the FDA, lobbyist, and JDRF’s involvement.  In my mind, these are the things I want to be involved in.  As much as I truly enjoy my roll as a diabetes mentor and spreading diabetes education, I believe there is a next step for me.  I want to be part of the change I wish to see in the world.

So yesterday I had lunch with the head of the nominating committee at my local JDRF.  We had a lot in common and I didn’t hold back my opinions on my local chapter’s direction and off the cuff ideas for increasing involvement and community awareness.  I am, by nature, a do-er.  I am a planner.  I love having goals.  I’m also pretty nerdy and creative.

This morning I received all the forms I need to fill-out and the invitation to the meeting where my new role as a Board member will be announced in June.  I cried when I called my parents yesterday to tell them.  There have been a few instances in my life where I truly felt I had a calling to do something.  This happens to be one of those moments in my life and it happens to be my diabetes memory.

 

Share and Don’t Share – Monday 5/13/1

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Last year I wrote my first, real Surfacefine blog post during Diabetes Blog Week 2012.  I am thrilled to be able to participate again this year as well.  For more information on the 4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week (and be prepared to read some really fantastic posts from a variety of perspectives, Check this out http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2013/05/diabetes-blog-week.html :

D blog week

Here’s today’s topic:

Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see?  (Thanks to Melissa Lee of Sweetly Voiced for this topic suggestion.)

Wait a second!  Does the blog reading cut into our 15 minutes of seeing our medical team?  If so, I’ll just copy the bullet points I read off my phone during my appointments and make those questions into my next blog post!

Alright this is serious, so here goes: My Endo is a T1D.  She has been diabetic longer than I have (I was diagnosed in 1979).  She is married and has two kids.  I knew her long before all of that.  I’m pretty sure as a fellow T1D, there would be nothing shocking or even surprising about my blog (well actually that I crack jokes when I write but I don’t have time for that when I see her) Although I have joked in the past that meeting with my endo is like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeK5ZjtpO-M

I appreciate that my endo is a T1D too.  When I was kid and had been a T1D for a few years, my family switched pediatricians.  Yep, we switched to a pediatrician who was a T1D too (what’s up Dr. Selig?).  Guess what else?  My podriatrist is a T1D too.  Do you sense a theme here?

I don’t have anything huge that I would want my doctors to see or not see if they read my blog, BUT if the question were about my health insurance company, then yes, I have a strong opinion on this one:

Dear Health Insurance Company Who I Will Not Name Because As Much As I Fight You, I Also Fear You,

Do you remember last year when you sent me a letter about how I should be getting regular A1Cs and then explained what an HbA1c is?  Do you recall how the letter pointed out that I am missing items/tests for “good” diabetic care?  Do you also remember that I chose to ignore it instead of confront you on how insulting it was?  I did that because you scare the hell out of me.  You and I both know  I am on a private plan since although I work in a partnership, I am the only one who needs health insurance (as in: others have spousal health insurance or Medicare).  We also probably both know that I have found alternative plans over the years but what I would save in premiums would be spent covering deductibles, so here we are.

We started together for a few reasons, but the most important one was my opthomologist had switched plans and I had to scramble.  I hope to never know how low I would sink to keep seeing my opthomologist (his group treats a celebrity with diabetes. If that doesn’t matter to you, great.  It is a HUGE vote of confidence to me).  My primary care physician is also part of your plan and she’s got a great working relationship with my endo so that’s an added bonus.  You know who doesn’t participate with your plan?  My Endo!  Crazy right?  Especially because she DID participate with your plan, left her hospital, went into pharma sales, came back to another hospital about 30 blocks away and I am happily back under her care, but she isn’t one of your plan’s endos.

At one point I saw 3 endos in your plan.  1 is my current endo.  Another was a very young doctor who although “nice” she seemed to want to be my friend more than my doctor.  I stuck with her for awhile although I questioned her T1D experience.  She left for a pharma job too.  I even had an appointment with her replacement.  It became very clear that not only did I know more than he did, BUT that he couldn’t answer ANY of my questions.

So Insurance Company, I have given you the benefit of the doubt with that letter of yours about what I’m doing wrong with my diabetes care.  I pay out-of-pocket to my endo.  I am beyond lucky to be able to do that.  I get all blood work done a week before my appointments, with a prescription, at one of your labs.  I don’t get any labs at all done in her office like her other patients.  For all you know, I do not see an endocrinologist at all… EXCEPT you pay for my blood work at your labs.  You pay for my HbA1c and microalbumin tests.  The prescription for the tests and the results come from and go to that very doctor who is not part of your plan.   You can continue acting like I don’t see an endo.  You can pay for my Dexcom which had all the proper paperwork for medical necessity as did my pump.  You can keep covering my ACE Inhibitor under my prescription plan too.  You can keep seeing these prescriptions come through my endo’s office and you can remain clueless when I tell you I wave my right to have YOUR on staff nurse (with no specialty in diabetes) review my case to perhaps give me some pointers and recommendations.

Getting back to the question above, my dear health insurance company, you can raise my rate $100 a month EVERY year for 4 years running, and I will work harder to make more money too.  I don’t want you to ever see I have a blog.  I don’t want to be anything more that a code number to you.  I don’t want you to know about my challenges and victories as a diabetic.  I will fight you over billing errors, but I don’t want to ever be on your radar.  I will spend hours trying to figure out how to work with you and when or if that doesn’t pan out, I will spend those same hours working around you.  I’ll keep signing the checks, and take care of myself.  You keep making your “suggestions” so I’ll mock you in my blog.

xoxo,

Surfacefine or perhaps Diabetes Batman would be a little more secretive.

 

Inspired to Dream

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“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
John Quincy Adams (1825-1829);

6th US President

I read this quote this morning and I thought about in terms of my own life.  I’m lucky to have so many people around me who inspire me (both in the real world and also the virtual one).

In times of distress, it’s reassuring to think of the people who truly inspire you.

Yep, I am a lucky girl